A Consuming Exxxperience…

Heads up: Once upon a time there were 4 blokes, who moved into a big apartment. They had got themselves a fairly decent place. They had ambitious plans of setting the place the up like a bachelor pad. The 3 B’s of a bachelor pad: Beer, books, bean bags, everything was there. Now came the tough part, managing the household, keeping the fridge stocked!!

Along came the big S (Satya- the most responsible amongst us all) and delivered us from the ignorance and the confusion:

Everybody will take turns and manage the house straight up from the house rent to shopping for the essentials needed in a month.

Short and sweet. It was nothing like a peaceful sermon, but more like martial law that been imposed upon us, and failure to comply and meet the basic service standards would be dealt with harshly.

It’s my month. Again. You can’t escape it. It reminds me of menstrual pain that women experience monthly. It’s the same just that in my case it comes quarterly. It could not be more similar, I am edgy, irritated, sad, depressed, and lose a lot of my blood when it boils in bouts of sheer exasperation.

Enough! This time I was determined to get it right. I had plans in place based upon past experiences.

My determination and my plans seemed a distant thought, when I actually assumed charge. Its funny how things like this throw even the most meticulously drafted plans out of the window.

Well, after having taken care of the basics (the rent, the electricity bill, paying the maid and the cook, newspaper bill) really swiftly, I am left with mammoth task of getting the food supplies. This is also very difficult task, considering the fact that nothing is enough for our fridge. Everything disappears. And off you go to the market again.

I was determined to beat this trend. I decided to shop in BULK with a capital B-U-L-K.

I lured Bhuvan to come along and bail me out. I promised to return the favor. It was his turn next month. He agreed.

Sunday morning. We armed ourselves with all that is needed and we were off for our encounter with the Big B. Now now, before you shoot me down, this is not Amitabh that I am talking about.

Big Bazaar. For all those who have not been to one, they clearly are missing out on what life has to offer. Also for those missed out on the Maha-Kumbh Mela, don’t be disappointed. This is the perfect opportunity to witness something to same effect. Hell, in all probability you might even get lost in the crowd. With the gutsy display of courage, we went in determined to achieve our mission. You can hardly miss the varied assortment of things that are up for sale. You will be surprised with number of different things that are selling under the same roof. Also through the cacophony, that will give any bus station or fish market a run for its money, it’s hard to miss:

“Laadiessss and Gentlemaann, Welcome to Big bazaar, your neighborhood family store for all your needs…get a Free Nike shirt, for every two garments you buy…”

“50 % off the Persian carpets, offer ends today”

“30% off on Videocon Fridge”


I guess when you have competition with the easily accessible and cheap neighborhood kirana shops, the only way to beat them is beating them at their own game. Hawker like marketing of products, products as cheap as you will find anywhere, Mind boggling number of offers to lure you back is clearly working. Everybody is buying. Indians, and I am talking about the masses here, will buy and continue buying if you can convince them that it is the cheapest deal on the block. Add the word “FREE” in there somewhere and its magic for the retailers. People buy more, just to get that extra container that they may or may not need. It’s Free-conomics at play.

When Mister Kishor Biyani, decided he will enter retail business in India ala WallMart, he really went for it. And its arguably one of the best and most profitable business ideas of the latter half of the last decade. Most of the industry big-wigs are lining up the big bucks for investment in the retail sector, touted to be the next big thing after the IT boom. It pays to be the first off the block.

Anyway, pray forgive for getting carried away, like always. We did get our stuff: 10 kg Annapurna atta, 5 kg Sundrop oil, 2 kg Tide, 6 cheese spreads, 4 breads, 12 cartons of juice, 5 types of pulses, 7cartons of Milk, Choclates, Ice Cream, Handwash, plenty of Lays, Popcorn, Pasta, Strawberries and fruits and a whole lot of other stuff I won’t bore you with. But the question is whether this will be enough. Wait and watch this space.

Billing is another story. While we waited, we finished the strawberries; Bhuvan threw a fit, recovered, I caught up with all my friends that I had not spoken to in a while, made new friends with some chicks standing ahead of me, finished reading the Sunday paper. Finally we checked out. I tried not looking at the bill, having exhausted nearly all of the month’s funds.

It was not over, on the way back, tugging around all the stuff we made the last but critical stop. Liquor. This was refreshing. Bhuvan stopped complaining. Fosters, Kingfishers, Wine, Vodka later, we headed home. Now I am completely broke.

It was almost mid afternoon. We came back and crashed. We could not even stay up to even open and shuffle around the contents of the shopping bags.

Sigh!!